Strange Things | Patron Saint Oprah

Patron Saint Oprah

erratic_prophet | 07 July, 2006 13:37

So I haven't written in quite some time, have I? I've been busy, yes. Always. I'm training yet another new coworker in my department. Why do I get the feeling that I'll outlast him? Yes, you read right. Him. A man actually infiltrated our ranks. He'll be the second male in the whole jewelry/fragrance/cosmetics section. (The other one is an ass who I refuse to speak to anymore because he is the assiest ass in the east.)

When I haven't been at work-- Oh, those rare occasions! How I love them!-- I've been reading. Anything to avoid people. I just can't seem to deal with them lately. I feel rubbed raw.

So I've been reading. Anything. Books, magazines, flyers, cereal boxes, what have you. It was during this that I received a free Oprah magazine. Yes, that Oprah. Patron Saint of the Spirit and Messiah all rolled into one, according to my mother. (Reminds me of that Kathy Griffin joke about Oprah thinking her paper cut is stigmata. Love that one!)

Anyway, I'm flipping through the magazine and spot an article called "The Sponge People". It's about people who tend to absorb all of the bad vibes going on around them. Even when they aren't directed at them. That's when it hit me. I'm a friggin sponge. It's why I can't bear to be around people for long periods of time. Everything just sticks to me and I'm a mess later on.

Put me in a room with my ex-husband's family and I'd come out twenty minutes later with a debilitating migraine that would knock me out of commission for days. I wish I were joking about that. I dreaded going to his family's events. It's also why I don't like large crowded places. I avoid them whenever I can. I hate it, but what can I do?

The article-- although a bit crunchy granola feel good for me-- hooked me. Here would be the answer to at least one of my problems! And the solution is more crunchy granola feel good hokiness. The steps you're supposed to take to combat the sponginess is known as ARMOR UP. (Here I'll summarize what was written in the article..)

A is for Acknowledge. Meaning that you shouldn't dismiss your feelings of uneasiness.

R is for Recognize. Know what you're feeling.

M is for Monitor. Track patterns. Are you always upset after seeing certain people?

O is for Observe. Observe what you're feeling and detach from it.

R is for Relax. Take deep breaths and relax your muscles.

Space. Distract yourself.

U is for Understand. Realize that other people aren't generally trying to upset you, sometimes emotions spill over.

P is for Protect. Visualize something that brings you a sense of peace and balance.

See? Hokey. But guess what I'll be doing at work when I see Banshee again..

[Reply]

would you like some sprouts and a shot of wheat grass with that?

hehehe

j — 08 Jul 2006, 06:58

[Reply]

I was thinking maybe i'm a sponge, but i figure i just hate people...i don't need to be a sponge for that.
If i could live on my own (after my baby is all grown up) be some shrivelled up old hermit living in a cave by the ocean, lap top and mp3 player by my side....damn i'd live one happy life!

Michelle — 08 Jul 2006, 07:52

[Reply]

J- Can I get an "Om", man?

Michelle- I hate people in general, but not all specifically. I can also go looooong stretches without speaking to anyone and be perfectly content with that until I get an angry phone call from the neglected friend. I think it's partly an only child thing. I'm a loner.

Erratic Prophet — 08 Jul 2006, 11:06

[Reply]

"assiest ass" ha!

I say forget that armorup crap and go back to what you know - I'm rubber, your glue.

TheBloggerFormerlyKnownAsVivian — 13 Jul 2006, 23:10

[Reply]

Viv (at least until I find a symbol for your new name)- I haven't even done the armor up stuff. I've been freaking out Banshee by being super nice and smiling at her a lot. It's kept her away from me a lot. And it makes her suck up to me when she is around because she's afraid of what I'm planning, I think.

Erratic Prophet — 14 Jul 2006, 09:19